she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
