Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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