I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
