the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My feet surprised me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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