Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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