she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
