Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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