I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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