Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
