First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
