It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
