You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
