I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
