The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Drake has all the answers
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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