he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
