Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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