oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
