He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
