I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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