So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
