she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
