It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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