brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
