nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
