she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
