Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
