His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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