Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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