just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
