Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
