I didn't shave. On purpose
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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