apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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