so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
