WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
