hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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