Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
