Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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