actually, I'm a sock model
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
