I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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