I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
