That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
