Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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