It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
