she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
