marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
