i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
