Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
