I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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