I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There r osticjed everywhere
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
