you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize